Top 10 most annoying people in Vancouver

The only context you get is already provided. I am not hosting or entertaining any discussion. If you feel offended, that means you have some reflection to do.

Here we go!!!

10) Yaletown tech/finance bros with receding hairline:

You do not belong in Kits. You do not belong in Westend. You do not belong in Downtown. You do not belong in Olympic Village. You need to go back to where you came from, and that is the Financial District in Toronto.

9) Ken Sims:

One day, on your deathbed, Kenny boy, all the things you have done are going to play in front of you. And, for all the things shitty things you did to the lovely, hard-working people of this beautiful city.......aahhhhh!!!! (I can't say those things). I hope you realize how big of a twat you were. And don't forget that we forgot that you have a holding company called "Chindian Holdings Ltd." Why are you like this? Do you not hear yourself? Here is the receipt:

8) "Racialized" residents of Kitsilano:

Listen here, Kevin Ngo and Jenny Kwan from Richmond or Jason Sharma and Priya Bhardhwaj from Surrey, just because you have entered a new tax bracket and own a property in Kitsilano, does not mean you are white. Wearing Arc'teryx and driving a Tesla (I am gonna throw up) does not mean you have made it. We know your white friends...YOU KNOW your white friends only see you as "omg where should we go for some ethnic food" recommendations. We all know you haven't explored beyond Tasty Bistro in Yaletown. We know deep down you hate yourself.

7) People who say "Bagheera" is their favourite bar:

That place is a nightmare. It's so deeply infested by colonial remnants. I feel like anybody who likes that horrid place for its vibe would still call a racial slur.

6) Food bloggers who won't go into the "ethnic" neighbourhoods:

You know exactly who you are. Forget getting recommendations from them in the neighbourhoods like Kensington, Collingwood, Sunset, Victoria-Fraserview or Marpole, these attention-seeking imbeciles won't even step into Strathcona because that is too ethnic for them. Excuse me, Strathacona whites are not ethnic; they are just in a lower tax bracket.

5) People who like Jam Cafe:

Grow a personality. Go to other places. There are literally so many brunch places in Vancouver. And, no, I am not making you a list. Go walk around a new neighbourhood one day, and try a place that you haven't tried yet.

4) Rich Kitslano-Yaletown-Westend Gays:

Listen. I do not hate the gays. I love the gays. I am an ally. I was going to the Vancouver Pride Parade long before Jagmeet (our ex-NDP leader). But you know, when the Mt. Pleasant, Commercial-Clark Dr., and Strathcona white gays are like No, thank you. And you know me, I am an ALLY. And also, Fuck Vancouver Pride Society! Because they are Zionist, and why is there a militarized police presence at the parade?

3) The Daily Hive:

I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

2) People who suggest "East is East":

I am gonna be honest with you. This was supposed to be #1, actually. You need to end your friendship with anybody who takes you there. You need to call the cops on them. Actually, let's not call the VPD. Because all VPD knows is assaulting people, and I am pretty sure the people who love "East is East" probably have some sort of fetish about this. I am not enabling this behaviour. But besides the tangent, the food is actually rancid. I feel like they do so much interfaith stuff that it's just sacrilegious at this point.

1) Impark Vancouver:

This is not about the person who gives out the tickets. Actually, sometimes they are dicks too. But that's not the point. The point is, there is a special place in hell for you. And it is right next to Ken Sims, Chip Wilson and people who leave the most fucked comments about the horrifying thing they would do to the unhoused people in Downtown Eastside.

Thank you for wasting your time here. Please subscribe for more. It actually encourages me to write more optimistic stuff for next time. I have another list going for "Top 10 places in Vancouver where, I, a visible minority, gather with very low chances of getting hate-crimed". Let me know if I should continue with that.

Okay. Love you. Bye. SatSriAkal stinkies.